You might wonder why we have focused quite a bit of attention on this blog on the character profile of the sociopath. The real reason is because most human beings, despite all their flaws, are trusting at heart and want to see the best in others. It is this trait which makes ordinary people such an easy prey for the sociopath. We tend to believe that lies are something which people say rarely or just sometimes under stress, so normal people are ill equipped to deal with the sociopath, who is incredibly talented at inventing whatever story will get them out of their present problem or serve their present purpose. The sociopath, however,is almost incapable of keeping their story straight over time and they contradict themselves constantly if you pay attention. For instance just before Scott Martin was removed as manager at TBI Riau in April 2012, Michelle assured us that he was a ‘a great bloke who was very popular with the teachers and staff.’ (Lie #1) We were also told he had a degree but not in English (Lie #2). We were then told that the move to tiny TBI Paskal from massive TBI Jl. Riau was a promotion (Lie #3). We were then told that Scott Martin was walking around Bandung laughing at his removal as School Manager (Lie #4). In other words, sociopaths are radically different from normal people as they have no relationship with reality or the truth. What underlies Lies #1-4 above is the hidden truth: Scott’s demotion to a Paskal was a huge slap in the face to Luke and so he lied at every turn to deny the demotion (at first) and then to try and minimize (Lies #3 and #4) the damage to his reputation. The real agenda is always to deny at first and when denial becomes impossible, you switch to damage control. This is, of course, how politicians behave all the time and is the reason that the public has lost faith in their leaders in recent decades all across the Western world. If you know how sociopaths operate, you have some defense against their lies. If you falsely believe that all people are good at heart- they aren’t, clearly- then you are prone to the attacks of a sociopath, who will catch you off-guard. Below is an account of being in a relationship with a sociopath from a woman called Penny. It gives you a clear idea of how the Binsars and Lukes or this world operate:
All sociopaths wear a mask. The mask of kindness. The mask of generosity. The mask of romance. The mask of attraction. The mask of intimacy. The mask of seduction. And so on.
This is what reels us in. The pretense. The acting. The mask. And we, in our goodness and trust, want to believe in the mask.
And then one day, that mask cracks. You remember the moment.. The moment when you look in their eyes and you KNOW the truth about them. The moment you recognize the pathological lies, the deception, the manipulation, the con. The game is up.
And from that moment on, your relationship with the sociopath is forever changed. This moment happened for me when…after middle of the night phone calls to his house and cell phone…I looked into his eyes and I KNEW. I knew he was having an affair, and that he was a liar. A year’s worth of investigation (yes, obsessing) has confirmed that nearly everything he told me was a lie.
From that point forward, the cruelty begins. Name-calling. Shouting. Out-of-control rage. Accusations of what you have…and have not done for them. Assaults on your character. Disparaging remarks. Outright slander. Saying horrible things about you to everyone who will listen. The smear campaign begins in full force.
Once the mask slips, you have a full view of who the sociopath actually is. Nothing is hidden from you anymore. They are the most hateful person you have ever encountered.
I equate the mask with a coin…beautiful, golden, intricately detailed and engraved on one side, and the cheapest, molten metal, with indistinguishable or hideous features on the other.