In this part we explore the wisdom of Ashley Platts, whose enlightened leadership of the TBI-Tanic is now the stuff of legend.

Tell me the story about the mobile phone and Ashley. I love that one.

This dates from 2007, when I had just started as a teacher at TBI. At that time Ashley Platts was the School Manager of Menara Kuningan; the role was called Principal then. There was a teacher called A****d who had had the misfortune of losing her mobile phone in the Kuningan staffroom. Let’s be frank- she said it had been stolen.

Go on.

A****d had gone to Ashley to complain about the theft of her hp (ha-pe). I suppose she had expected some kind of sympathy or support, but she had gone to Ashley, so she was clearly barking up the wrong tree. Ashley turned it around on her and blamed her for her lack of responsibility. He said to her, “Do you know you have turned someone into a thief?”

How does that work? This is a fascinating expedition into the Land of Warped Logic.

Well, A****d had left her handphone (ha-pe) in her handbag and gone off to class and when she had come back, her handphone was gone. She was upset that someone had stolen her handphone and so she had gone to Ashley and reported it. But rather than supporting her, Ashley had criticized her by saying that she was careless and reckless. He said that the office assistants only made one million a month and by being careless with her belongings, she had turned someone into a thief by laying temptation in their path. He accused her of turning someone into a criminal.

Perhaps he should have reported A****d to the police. She was a real Ronald Biggs. Did A****d appreciate the wisdom of Ashley?

She thought he was a complete fool. She told everyone in the staffroom what he had said. No one could believe it.

Why did Ashley presume it was an Indonesian who had stolen the phone? That seems racist to me. Is it so impossible that it was another teacher?

You would have to ask Ashley. I certainly don’t endorse his crackpot views.

What did the other teachers think about Ashley’s views?

They thought they were disgusting. It was an infamous moment in Ashley’s reign as Principal.

Ashley now fashions himself as a team player. Are you saying that you don’t accept this persona?

Ha ha, hardy, ha ha.